Monday, October 26, 2009
Right now it's 4:30 in the morning. I've been suffering from sleep depravation for months now. Well i should say for years on and off, but right now seems to be the worst it has ever been. it's not fun. Knowing you will wake up in the dead of night and be wide awake. Most of the time I just lay in my bed and toss and turn. But lately I've found getting up and doing something for an hour or so helps me get back to sleep quicker. Tonight, (well this morning), i started thinking of all my blessings. My life has not exactly gone the way i pictured it. Some due to my own choices. Some not. But i have never been lacking of blessings. I have the most amazing kids in the world. I miss them when they aren't with me. Not knowing where they are or what they are doing is hard for me, but it makes me all the more glad to be with them when they are home. I'm grateful for a husband who is wants to spend time with them and do fun things with them. I'm grateful for friends who sacrifice to help me in a time of great need, or are just there in case i need them. Friends who send kind words via text message, email or voice mail. Friends who invite me to be with them, so i'm not alone. i am grateful for brothers who i sometimes forget i have, but when it really matters, step up to the task and support me. i have five of them and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm grateful for temples that seal families and children together forever. To feel that joy and know that no matter what, it will be alright. For the protection we feel when we are there. I'm grateful for parents who never give up, or stop caring, or stop loving, who are probably lying awake worrying about me right now as I type. Grateful to walk into a ward I left a year ago and be embraced as if I never left. Grateful that me body will carry me while I run. It's such a therapeutic time to just be able to think and feel, time that's just for me. Grateful for sister-in-laws who support, understand, and love unconditionally. Grateful most of all for a Savior who suffered what I suffer, who loves me so much, He never gives up or turns away when I fall and stumble. Who shares my joys and my sorrows. Grateful for a Heavenly father that does answer prayers. Who does care that i am happy. Who understands what we need even when we don't. I'm GRATEFUL.
Posted by Sara at 4:33 AM
Thursday, October 15, 2009
It's funny how we perceive ourselves. I've worked really hard. I've lost 23 lbs. I'm not saying that to brag. Only to prove a point. After all that work, I feel better, I watch what I eat and keep exercising so i don't gain it back, and yet when I look in the mirror I'm not sure what I see looking back at me. Am I thinner, thin enough, still fat, was I ever really fat? I have two scales. I call them the fat scale and the skinny scale. Most likely the fat scale is more accurate. But I always weigh in on the skinny one first. I usually like the number I see. Then I weigh in on the fat scale and it's not so happy I feel. Why do I do this, why does it matter. Does anyone who truly loves me really care if I weigh 134 lbs or 139 lbs? Or the original 160 lbs to start. So today I threw away the skinny scale. I told my weight for the whole world to see, and I feel better.......... I think?
Posted by Sara at 10:18 AM
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Aspen's first school project this year was on "Watersheds". She had to design something that showed the cycle of water and where it is used in our community. Our little town is a great example of this. Anyway WIllie helped her build this replica of where Aspen would like to live. It turned out awesome. She "blew her teacher's mind" literally. (that's what he wrote on her grade) She of course got an A and even some extra credit. Way to go Aspen.
Posted by Sara at 8:13 AM